January

1. Follow the River by James Alexander Thom / 406
2. World Without End by Ken Follett / 1014

February

3. Bonk by Mary Roach / 319

March

4. The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls / 288
5. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka and David Wyllie / 60

April

6. A Son of the Circus by John Irving / 633

May

7. The World According to Garp by John Irving / 609
8. Stiff by Mary Roach / 294

June

9. Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann / 442
10. Life of Pi by Yann Martel / 319
11. Eating the Cheshire Cat by Helen Ellis / 288

July

August

12. Wicked by Gregory Maguire / 409

September

13. Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures by Vincent Lam / 350

October

14. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte / 452
15. Poltergeist by James Kahn / 301
16. Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk / 297

November

17. Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys / 190
18. On The Road by Jack Kerouac / 310
19. A Poisoned Passion by Diane Fanning / 274


Total pages: 7255

January

1. Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews / 411
2. The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen / 566
3. One Fat Summer by Robert Lipsyte / 232
4. You Got Nothing Coming by Jimmy Lerner / 397

February

5. Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs / 268
6. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson / 114

March

7. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby / 323
8. Setting Free the Bears by John Irving / 340
9. The Secrets of a Fire King by Kim Edwards / 255
10. Middlesex by Jeffery Eugenides / 529
11. Cruddy by Lynda Barry / 305

April

12. Everything's Eventual by Stephen King / 583
13. Sleepers by Lorenzo Carcaterra / 370

May

14. Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris / 385
15. Diary by Chuck Palahniuk / 260
16. Confederates in the Attic by Tony Horwitz / 406

June

17. Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk / 289
18. Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk / 218
19. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn / 355
20. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb / 465
21. Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld / 403

July

22. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen / 325
23. The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann Wyss / 459

August

24. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie / 533
25. Phantom Prey by John Sandford / 307
26. The Torturer's Apprentice by John Biguenet / 176

September

27. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell / 1037
28. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison / 581

October

November

29. Atonement by Ian McEwan / 351
30. The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry by Kathleen Flinn / 290

December

31. Little Heathens by Mildred Armstrong Kalish / 290
32. White Coat by Ellen Lerner Rothman, M.D. / 335

Total pages: 12,258

January

1. The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson / 396
2. Midwives by Chris Bohjalian / 374
3. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough / 692
4. The Color Purple by Alice Walker / 295
5. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett / 311
6. The 158-Pound Marriage by John Irving / 255

February

7. The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards / 401

March

8. Saturday by Ian McEwan / 289
9. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson / 282

April

10. Marathon Man by William Goldman / 311
11. Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison / 309
12. Gentlemen and Players by Joanne Harris / 422
13. Lethal Justice by Fern Michaels / 315
14. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett / 245

May

15. A Taxonomy of Barnacles by Galt Niederhoffer / 367

June

16. Red Dragon by Thomas Harris / 348
17. Eating the Cheshire Cat by Helen Ellis / 288
18. Dragon Tears by Dean Koontz / 412
19. Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay / 288
20. Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay / 292

July

21. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger / 519
22. Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk / 411
23. Rant by Chuck Palahniuk / 319
24. The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff / 158

August

25. Moral Disorder by Margaret Atwood / 225
26. Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk / 218
27. Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk / 297
28. The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst / 261
29. The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld / 269

September

30. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk / 293
31. We Are All Welcome Here by Elizabeth Berg / 187

October

32. Invisible Prey by John Sandford / 326
33. The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky / 213
34. The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris / 367

November

35. Hannibal by Thomas Harris / 546

December

36. Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris / 323
37. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant / 321

Total pages: 12,145

So here is what has been going on. I was fired from my job at the bank at the end of July. I guess I was too good at my job and too much of an asshole. I regret not quitting when I should have. I was very unhappy my last two months. Oh well. I still don't have a job. This is hard. I'm getting very discouraged by all this, but something is bound to happen. I don't like being depressed.

Since I've been home every day, I've been practicing my bass a lot. I like to think that I am improving. I am mad at myself for not practicing like this when I was sixteen and first started playing. Man, I would be so freaking awesome right now if I had stuck to it back in the day.

I'm going to go see The Menus tonight. The only time I leave the house now is to go out and see them play.

So that's what I've been up to.

This is a true story about Mark Reedy who is the best boyfriend in the entire world.

Last fall, a pregnant stray cat made her home at my parents' house and then she had a bunch of baby kittens (which are in my videos, btw). The stray cat mommy was hit by a car and killed, leaving all her orphan babies behind. After giving away all they could, my parents were left with three kitties, Maggie, Diamond, and Jetta. Maggie and Diamond got pregnant this spring and had babies, which are very adorable and have sharp claws.

Every day at lunch I go to my parents' house, since they live close to my work. I'm going to lunch this afternoon, and as I am slowing down to pull into the driveway, I see a cat on the side of the road. It's just instinct/habit to say Poor Kitty when I see a poor kitty like that. Then I realized it was Maggie. She was very much killed by a car.

I was distraught and alone, and so I called Mark. He was in an appointment, so I had to call him back. I talked to him before I had to leave to go back to work, and he said he would come out there. He came over and got this poor cat out of the road because I couldn't. And he never was an ass about going out there or that blahblah it's just a cat and it wasn't even my cat or any of that. He knew I was sad and he did it for me without even asking him to do it. And he gave me a lot of hugs when I came home, and that's why I love him so much.

To everyone who is currently engaged to be married, married with children, married without children, married with children on the way, or in school, graduating school, or going on to graduate school, or is hanging out with their best friends, just hung out with their best friends, or are on their way to hang out with their best friends, or if you are satisfied in the wonderful career you had picked out when you were little, I hope it all falls apart so then you will be as miserable as I am, and then I will have something to be pleased about.

I feel like I have been neglecting this, but who really cares anyway. I don't even read the friends page everyday because I only have two friends who ever update. It's easier to go to their page than to find their entries admit all the community crap. All I do on my computer nowadays is play sim city. Oh well. Not a lot has been happening anyway. I got a new car two weeks ago. It feels very zoomy compared to what I was driving. I feel like I'm driving a gokart. Work is fine. Every day is just new bullshit, but I still love my job. The banquet is coming up from me taking all those classes. I'm getting three diplomas: general banking diploma, bank operations diploma, and the supervisor certificate. But I don't think I'm going to the banquet because I don't want to sit by myself seeing as how I have zero friends at the bank. Whatever. Mark and I signed our lease for another year, and I love him so much. I hope everyone is pleased to know that we haven't broken up or started hating eachother just because we moved in together two years ago. He starts school on the 22nd, and I'm very proud of him.

I had a horrible nightmare last night that I went back to work at Waffle House. All the same losers were still working there in my dream (also in real life they do), but they were so pleased I was back for some reason. I was so horrible at it in my dream, probably because I even worse at being nice and customer service crap. Forget that.

I thought today would be a good day to get a suntan. I've gone out a couple of times this summer, so I don't get why my back is so sunburnt. It sucks. My vacation is coming up in a few weeks. Mark and I are just staying here but doint fun stuff with the money we had saved up. Maybe we'll get to go on a real out of state vacation next year. But one of the things we are doing is the Beach waterpark. The bank got discounted tickets for one day, which happens to be the last day of my vacation. Which is neat, though I'm not looking forward to it that much. Ever since I came back from Myrtle Beach last summer, I kind of quit exercising. I've lost the weight I gained over the winter, but I'm still not satisfied with my body. I know how it could be, and that's why I'm not happy. Mark is going to be my trainer for the next three weeks to get me toned up before I have to be in a bathing suit in front of everyone.

I think back to when I was in high school and how skinny I was sixteen. I was a size 3 and I weight like 105 my junior year. And then I think back to how depressed I was and how I would starve myself, and all the other self-destructive behaviors I practiced. So I'm glad to be fat and happy, and old. I would never want to be sixteen again. Fuuuck that.

I started a quilt.

Hahahahahhahahaaa.

I'm so domestic.

I don't ever feel like writing in here because nothing new happens. My dad is coming home tomorrow. He's been gone forever. I have my final exam in my bunk economics class on Monday. I am doing very bad in that class. The instructor is so stupid and the questions are so rediculous and they don't teach anymore and his grading is so dumb and I hope I don't fail so I have to pay for the class. I hate that class. Economics sucks bad. I need to study.

Supervision class is going okay, though. It's the same instructor I had for marketing. So he knows I'm lazy and shouldn't expect anything from me. Heh. He did say that my perserverance in these classes will pay off at work eventually. So that's what I'm hoping.

I turned 21 two weeks ago, and last Monday, I went to Kroger to buy some alcoholic beverages because I can. The cashier who looked older than me apparently wasn't old enough to scan alcohol. So he called for assistance. Like four people came over, and this one boy wanted to do it. I also thought he was older than me, but he just turned eighteen. Since he just had his birthday, it was his first time to scan alcohol. They were all excited for him and having a good old time, and nobody carded me. I don't look like I should be twenty-one; people at work thought I was turning eighteen or nineteen. It's a good thing I'm honest and didn't try to buy anything until I was old enough. I hope that kid knows next time that he needs to card people. So last night I bought some beer for Mark on the way home from work, and I was carded. I paid $24 for a new ID and I'd like to get some use out of it.

I've decided that I really like Paul Simon. And that's about it.

So another Saturday night at the ole apartment by myself. I have been feeling very depressed all day, after getting drunk last night by myself on the internet. Mark is at a party with his friends, and all day I was saying, hey I'll go pick you up if you need a ride home. He said he would be okay, but I am still hoping he'll call so maybe I'll be asked to come inside a real party. I felt like slashing my wrists open, but instead I did my laundry. So this is my exciting life. I'm too bored to read. I finished ten books in March, which is nuts because I spent a whole week doing nothing but studying for exams. I should have studied harder because I didn't do as well as I was hoping. I just tried to buy a bass guitar, but my credit card was declined for some reason. Suck. So I used a different one. I hope I get it before next Saturday at home. I'd like to build up calluses on my fingertips again. I don't feel like looking up stuff for my vacation, because I'm probably not going. Mark has contributed nothing to the vacation fund, which pisses me off. I said I'd go without him, but I wouldn't be able to do that. I'd just stay at home and cry. Nothing different. Whatever.

the most ridiculous email i have gotten in a while.

Break the leg of a bad habit.

enlargeable faint blizzard patton daffy nautical inexperience molten
champagne fleece testicular spikenard fillet chambers hawkins inhabit
purr milestone reinstate opprobrium mystic cetus compromise neff alveolar
scientific wealth marsha revolutionary cafe vanilla valet debility
seventy bach modish choral affectation ramify corcoran avocation prophetic
brandywine manumission videotape recitative extremum pack christensen
soma drool side boutique lafayette bolt convey baptistery reportorial
chicken slog piquant skimpy confrere celluloid turtleback contour
minesweeper plexiglas pin mollify arginine dutch lunar critter

hmm..let's spam people with the most random words ever and see what happens.

So I have a new hobby. I learned how to play the keyboard. I discovered the magic of chords, and now I can play all sorts of fun songs. Who doesn't love the family guy theme somg? And since nobody I actually know can play piano or anything, I look like some kind of superstar. If only I'd use all this time dicking around on the keyboard to study. I have two exams this week; a final in marketing and a midterm in economics. I hope I do better than I did last time. Then my supervision class starts April 26th, so horray. I get my fancy diplomas in the fall, and hopefully a big fat raise for all this work. Oh well.

I think Life of Pi is my favorite book. I loved it. Man. That's all I have to say.

the apprentice comes on tonight!!! horray!

Mark and I went out today and saw The Pink Panther (fwance!) with about a million little kids spilling popcorn and sodas all over the floor. It was a funny movie. I liked it. We went out to eat, and to the store, and he is the funniest person I know. He makes me laugh more than anyone I've ever met in my entire life, and I love him so much. He is going to the ear doctor tomorrow, and I hope he doesn't have to have surgery. I will be devastated if he has to stay overnight in the hospital. The bed will seem so empty without him.

I have to still do my marketing homework, and I do not want to do it. These classes are so dumb, and I hate it. But it's better than doing nothing, I guess. Sorry I don't have anything exciting to write about, but nothing exciting happens to me.

I don't really have much to write about. As part of my goal to get better grades, I finished all my homework by Tuesday. I usually wait twenty minutes before it's due, but not anymore! I worked out too hard the other day, and I'm so sore. I didn't know I had this many muscles. My boyfriend is a really great kisser. He's such a tease, though. I love it when he'll dance with me. It's like Master P is in my bedroom. I'm currently reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. She is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. Work is work. Nothing new there. Things are fine.

I feel like I failed my tests. There were all these questions I have never even heard of. I'm so stupid.

Here's more proof that I have road rage. Or I am just mean. I'm coming home from work, going the speed limit and there's a van in front of me going the speed limit. This car is on my ass so bad, and it's pissing me off something fierce. I'm going as fast as I can. So this crazy motherfucker decides he's going to try to pass me as we're going up a hill. Me, being a jerk, decides to speed up as much as I can so he is unable to pass. Hahahaa. I was hoping that a car was coming the other way. So this guy drives a faster car than I do, and was able to pass me. Now it's the van's turn. This idiot passes this van, on a turn, with oncoming traffic. He should have just stayed where he was, because I ended up right behind him at the light. He did everything wrong from driver's ed, and he didn't get anywhere faster. Dumbass.